Father Forgive Me

They say we spend our entire lives running from our childhood trying our best not to make the same mistakes as our parents. Those of us with the fucked up ones anyway! I thought I dodged that phase until today. The concrete is cold on my back and the air stiff filled with the stench of urine, as my contractions settle and my screams quiet. I'm left with the sound of dripping water as the rain pours into the building. I'm freezing my skin is cool and clammy. It's so cold I can see my breath escaping my nose and mouth with each breath I take. I'm an emotional wreck I really thought this part of my life was over. My forth child will be born and given back to heaven before, she takes her first breath. I keep fading in and out and each time my mind drifts back to my first pregnancy and my multiple failed relationships. There's no worse feeling than loving a man who's not capable of loving you back. Each deception constitutes a sacrifice. I close my eyes and pray "Father Forgive Me!"