You Don't Know Me

"The most engaging, hilarious, and imaginative stories about a young person coming of age since "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!" Rainbo is born with a special gift, she is able to speak to creatures of the natural world. But what happens when Rainbo's mother sees her "speaking" with a snake? Or listening to stars call her name? This magic realism tale, narrated by a multi-ethnic young girl, resonates with such wisdom and truth, the reader is struck by a rare and memorable beauty! As Rainbo says, "This is the most eye-poppin', jaw-droppin', extraordinary, fantastic, adventure stories of all time, and if you don't like it, just bring it back and I'm sure these friendly people who got me to write this would give you your money back. In the meantime, bon voyage and adieu and happy trails and all that. Your friend, rainbo b. seed P. S. Here's the beginning of my book if you want to read more."You don't know me......but I ain't who you think I am. I ain't red or yellow or black or brown or white. I'm all those colors and more!Grandma says I'm all those colors and more because I'm the granddaughter of the First Peoples of the World.'Course I don't take everything grandma says as fact, being as she communes with spirits and ghosts and the like. One thing for sure: I know nothing about The World. I mean--snakes alive!-how am I supposed to know The World, when I can't even tell you why the sky is blue, or where my freckles come from, or what makes the moon change into jack o' lantern faces each night. Wait! I ain't told you who I am yet have I?I do that. I get so caught up in the telling sometimes I forget to tell what people wants to know first. So... I'm Rainbo. Rainbo B. Seed. Rainbo after all them colors I done told you 'bout and B after Bwana, a great African Princess. Bwana means beautiful in Swahili, least that's what my mama says, and you don't be crossing mama when she tells you such a thing. Anyways, I ain't so beautiful with my pink freckles and my red hair that's so curly even my curls got curlicues. So no, I don't go by Bwana. I just go by Rainbo, or Rainbo B., or Rainbo B. Seed if people want to be formal. Now first off, I ain't no witch, and neither is my grandma. I mean Pooff!, I couldn't turn you into a toad even if I wanted to. That's black magic bizness and, like I said, I'm no witch, not even a white one!I'm a whisperer. A snake-whisperer. I know, you ain't never heard of no snake-whisperer. You've heard about horse-whisperers and dog-whisperers and elephant-whisperers and monkey-whisperers and dolphin-whisperers. Maybe you even heard of whisperers who whisper to the whisperers in such soft sweet sounds that even butterflies and bees can hear their whispers as they flutter from flower to flower. But snakes!-that's a leap of faith across the Grand Canyon of your imagination! I was born with the gift of hearing the suspirating voices of the reptilian realm, and that's the upside down of it!!! Somehow the reptilian part of my brain got tuned in to the reptilian part of reptile's brains and I could hear everything they thought and said under their whispering breaths. And if it happened I won "America's Got Talent" and became famous and helped the Snake Clan to fly, well, that happened more by accident than by sorcery. Uh oh!!!Someone's knocking on my door....?...?...?Okay. I think we're safe... See, I ain't supposed to be writing this. 'Cause I'm kinda under house arrest. With the F-B-I. They call it Witness Protection!'Cept I ain't no witness and I sure don't feel protected. Not from Ivan Putinovitz and his Russian goons. But I ain't about to keep quiet so long as those news people keep spreading lies about me. So let's go!!