Do People go to Heaven when they Die?

Many People Sincerely Believe that they are going to Heaven when they Die, to be with Jesus and his Holy Angels; or, if he is Swamped with a Million or so People, every Day, they at least Hope to Discover their Loved ones among the Billions of People who have Died and gone to Heaven, whose Names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life, even if they did not Drink his Blood, nor Eat his Flesh, as a Requirement for Entering through those Overcrowded Pearly White Gates, at the Rate of about 695 Persons per Minute, which only Means that those are very LARGE Gates, just to Allow a Million People to pass through them each Day, without Checking for their Names in any Books: beCause of the Difficulty of Checking for 695 Names per Minute! And then there is the Business of Judging each Person, before he or she can Enter Heaven, and especially if Witnesses have to be Called upon to Testify, who have yet to Die, and especially in the Cases of Murders, who may not Die for another 20 to 60 Years, which Complicates everything about a Judgment Day, Record Keeping, etc. Nevertheless, it is Assumed that Jesus will be Able to Handle all of it, and has been Handling it for the past 2,000 or so Years - God alone knows HOW! The Important Thing to Remember is that Poor Old Saint Peter has the Keys into the Kingdom, and no one gets passed him without their Garments being Washed in the Blood of the Lamb, Literally, according to certain Fake Religions, which have no Answers for a Million Questions - such as, "How can I Find my Poor Old Uncle Henry, who Lost his Riit Mind, long before he Died from the Bug, who could not Remember his own First Name, much less, his Last Name, who must be Lost in the Crowd?" But, his Wife was a Reformed Transvestite, who was Converted to Christ on her Deathbed, whereby she would be Unrecognizable: beCause no one ever seen her without several Layers of Makeup, Paint and Buckets of Perfume. Howbeit, all of those are Minor Problems, when you Consider the Fact that Jesus supposedly Created the entire Universe, which has Billions of Trillions of Worlds in it, whereby several Trillion People are Attempting to pass through those Pearly Gates, Daily, and each one is Expecting a Good Hug from him, who Remembers all of their Trials and Troubles, who somehow kept Track of every Event in every Life, in Trillions of Lives! Yes, you probably have a Personal Relationship with him, yourself, right?